How to lose like a winner

One morning in 2004 my favourite client took me to a cafรฉ for what I thought would be a briefing. Turns out I was being told my services were no longer required.

It wasnโ€™t me, it was himโ€ฆhe needed to develop his writing skills so he could engage directly with his audience. I was crushed but took it on the chin, just like the other times I lost out on work I had my heart set on.

Rejection is a part of soloist life but like all hardship, thereโ€™s a lesson to be learnt if you handle it well. 

Keep your cool

Iโ€™m all for being human in business, but while showing a degree of disappointment is reasonable, losing your head is not. When hearing unhoped for news, pull on your big boyโ€™s/girlโ€™s pants and stay respectful of the other party.

Follow up with a thank you

A handwritten note to say you appreciate the work youโ€™ve done together, or the opportunity to pitch, will stick in the mind of your ex. If things go pear-shaped with their choice/alternate strategy, youโ€™re likely to be next in line.

Look for feedback

They may try and fob you off here but you may learn something you hadnโ€™t realised. Maybe your experience wasnโ€™t specific enough, maybe they didnโ€™t think you represented good value (the scoundrels!). Maybe you already know the answer. Assess the responses reasonably before making policy changes, i.e. donโ€™t let the tail wag the dog.

Congratulate the successful candidate 

If the job fell to another, say well done. Donโ€™t view those in your industry as competitors. Ainโ€™t nobody got time for that. Instead, see them as collaborators. What if theyโ€™re super-stretched due to the juicy new job theyโ€™ve landed? Wouldnโ€™t you offer spillover work to that nice person who patted you on the back after they missed out? What a great and gracious individual!

Back in โ€™04 I remember managing a โ€œThanks, Iโ€™ve really enjoyed working with you.โ€

Three months later I got an email (very flash technology back then) from the man himself, asking whether Iโ€™d like to co-write a book. Would I ever!

A decade on and I have wreaked revenge on Robert in a number of small but significant ways.

Not really, Iโ€™m an awesome and entirely unresentful work wife.

Have you reaped a silver lining from a rejection? Tell me about it.