How to handle brutal feedback better
Harsh feedbackย can be devastating. Itโs especially painful when youโve busted your hump to deliver, thought youโd knocked it out of the park โ but got hammered anyway. Feedback like this can have the most disciplined professionals reacting poorly. But this can lead to more difficult situations.
This isnโt easy to do, but itโs the first thing you must do.
Taking bad feedback personally is the quickest route to losing your cool and composure. Letting bad feedback get under your skin will cloud your emotions and taint all your actions from there onwards.
Whether youโve received bad feedback face to face from a client, via an email, over the phone or other means, the trick is to take a deep breath.
Donโt snap back in your meeting. Donโt scream down the phone line. Donโt author a lengthy email why theyโre wrong, why they suck and then hit โsendโ. Donโt get defensive!
Instead, you need to:
Clarity of thought, precision in planning and elegance of execution is the key to success โ in anything. Itโs definitely the key to navigating your way out of a bad situation with a client.
If your client has just taken a massive swing at your head, itโs imperative you clear your mind before you respond in any way, shape or form. You need to get away from what youโre doing, at least for a little while, before acting on anything.
If youโre in a high-pressure situation where time is against you, a quick tea or coffee break will help. But if you can afford to take more time, take as much as possible. The more time you have to breathe, the clearer your solutions will become.
Those solutions will be much better than the ones you come up with when youโre all riled up.
If youโre beating yourself up for your clientโs horrible feedback, consider that it mightnโt be you. It might be them. Remember, your clients are still people. Theyโre susceptible to the same pressures and pains of life you are. Their negative response may have nothing to do with what you delivered at all.
Your client may be getting picked on by their boss. Your clientโs work environment could be increasingly stressful due to a nose-dive in sales and, as a result, theyโre under immense pressure. It could be one thing or a million. It might even be a personal situation taking an emotional toll on your client.
Thereโs no excusing bad behaviour, but the fact you got blown up may just have been bad luck. A case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And some people choose to lash out at suppliers because theyโre removed from the hierarchy of their own role.
Now that youโve taken a step back and achieved some mental clarity, itโs time to get down to brass tacks โ to get to the bottom of what your client is really saying.
The key to defusing a tense situation is to talk in person – in a meeting, via a video call or at the very least, on the phone. Emails and text messages are out of the question as they can easily be misinterpreted.
Asking your client questions in a meeting directly gives you a chance to pick up on your clients body language and tone of voice. It means you can navigate the conversation and elicit valuable information more easily than if you were trying to communicate remotely. If your client volunteers information thatโs confusing, ask more questions until everything makes sense.
Most clients appreciate that youโve made time to meet with them. If theyโre reasonable, theyโll understand youโre trying to help and so they may open up.
They may even apologise for their horrible feedback โ especially if theyโre a long-standing client with a lot of time invested in the relationship.
If youโve got a clear direction as to what you need to do, get on it as soon as possible. Donโt make your client wait. Clean up your business processes, optimise your services, revise those project elements and get the work done.
If your client is important to you, do what you have to. Deliver as per your clientโs needs and make them happy!
If your client is repeatedly abusive towards your work and downright hostile in meetings, consider firing them. You always have the choice. Clients who deliberately hide their true intentions, obfuscate meaning and play power games are a waste of your time, your resources and in turn, your money.
Itโs your call whether or not you think the client is worth it. But if youโve done all you can and youโre getting no closer to a resolution because of them itโs time to let them go.
Negative feedback is never easy to take, especially if youโve put your heart and soul into what youโre doing.
If youโre copping flak from a client, just remember, they hired you to help them in the first place. They want and need your help to move their business forward. Take that deep breath, set that meeting, find out what your client needs and deliver it.
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