Why playing to serve is better than playing to win
Since starting my business and meeting people at various networking events, Iโve realised that I maintain friendships and relationships better with those who seemed more interested in how we could help each other rather than how I could help them alone.
Itโs not hard to see how these people are winning in business.
You see, when you befriend someone who is genuinely interested in reciprocating the relationship, itโs easier to be โin syncโ with this person โ to genuinely give back to them and to return to them again and again โ because trust is established from the outset.
โReciprocationโ is one of marketing professor Robert Cialdiniโs six principles of persuasion, based on the idea that if you do someone a favour, theyโll feel obliged to reciprocate. But I think thereโs more to reciprocity than a feeling of obligation. My view is that if someone is genuinely interested in serving us, we feel safe and secure, and itโs this feeling that motivates us to return.
One of the relationships Iโve built is with a colleague who runs his own de-clutter business. Heโs highly successful. Yes, he markets well. Yes, he has over 20 yearsโ experience in property consulting and therefore knows where to put things. Yes, he has wonderful customer service techniques, engagement and follow-through. But thereโs something very different about him.
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Heโs not in business to compete, or be the best, or to win. Heโs simply in business to build relationships and change peopleโs lives. He sees beyond the tasks and into the results and what it will mean for people if he organises their lives, de-clutters their space (and therefore minds) and gets them a genuinely good price on their homes. He sees that he might be helping peopleโs mental health, improving their familyโs future, and saving them from being drowned by their โstuffโ.
Heโs not there to win. Heโs there to serve.
And by doing this, heโs winning.
So, just how does he do it?
He asks himself the simple question before he sees every one of his clients, โHow can I best help?โ
The rest looks after itself.
Itโs that simple.
How is your business serving the lives of others?ย
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