Toxic hustle culture – Is our search for success screwing us over?

At the end of our days, most people would like to look back upon their existence and imagine it as having been successful. I wonder if the definition of success in the height of your life would differ from that at the end? I’m only about midway, and my own ideas about success have already shifted, writes Danielle Colley, life coach and author of The Chocolate Bar Life.

Often, in the peak of a career, the traditional definition of success is centered around money and status. Our current society prizes a lot of both. Those most likely to attain this highest-level success are not necessarily the smartest or the luckiest, suggests Nobel Prize winning economist, James Heckman. According to his research, the personality traits most likely to correlate with financial success are self-discipline, perseverance, and diligence. But that is not all it takes.

Entrepreneur and author Mark Cuban opines that of the likelihood of success is about neither the money you were born with, nor your connections, but your willingness to “outlearn” and “outwork” everyone.

Beyond money and status

The values shared in these findings, no doubt seem like noble and worthy principles. Therefore, success itself may not be the issue but the idea of success as some kind of end point might be. What screwed me over was the discipline and diligence needed to outwork everyone in the dogged pursuit of this end point, and the space for little else it left.

The zing of success can be an addictive mistress, and when you get hooked on your outcomes, it can become your whole identity. If your gym bag doesn’t recognise you, your nervous system is shot, you have zero boundaries on your hours and your family is used to you never being there, what is the point of either money or status?

More than eight out of 10 employees are at risk of burnout this year, according to the 2024 Global Talent Trends report published by Mercer, an HR consulting firm. The three major contributing issues cited were financial struggles, exhaustion and workload, but another often overlooked factor is the insatiable internal pressure inherited from a society always hungry for more.

Broadening the definition of success

But what if your view of success broadened to not just a career but perhaps the greater impact? Imagine, a kindergarten teacher who over the course of a twenty-year career, teaches 25 children a year how to read. Where are the success stories talking of teachers who taught 500 kids to read in their career? Or a neonatal intensive care nurse whose career gave one million gentle smiles to frightened parents.

Holistic success, a balanced life

Or maybe, just maybe, the real measure of success is how your work positively impacts your life in a holistic and sustainable way. Through this lens, success can mean to take care of your physical and mental needs, and flexibility to be available for loved ones, not to mention liking what you do, respecting who you do it for, and respecting yourself to boot.

While achieving career and personal goals is rewarding and ambition is exciting, the essence of success lies in balancing excellence with enjoying the journey. Instead of viewing success as a career terminus, I now consider it a continuous process of growth and fulfillment across all areas of my life.

Ultimately, surely success ought to be about living a life filled with joy, fulfillment, and harmony. Riddle me this: are you merely chasing an endpoint, or are you savouring the journey? This question redefined success for me, perhaps it will for you also.

The answer is always chocolate

A simple, yet tasty, mantra for this view of success might even be in your consciousness already. Remember the catchphrase for the Mars Bar- “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.” Prioritising space in your busy life for restorative activities, and irreverent play can help to ensure a greater sense of equilibrium and a multi-dimensional life. This simple philosophy helped not only me, but the many leaders I’ve worked with over the years.

While traditional markers of success like money and status are significant, they should not be pursued at the expense of personal well-being and meaningful relationships. By adopting a holistic view of success, you can achieve a more balanced, fulfilling, and sustainable life – a life that feels delicious to live.