Iโve been umming and aahing for months about making the move fromย sole trader, not least because I couldnโt get my head around the whys and the whats.
Yes, my accountantย explained them expertly, but when anyone starts talking tax my brain slips into my sock and my gaze starts to wander.
But now that Iโve taken the plunge, I thought Iโd share what I see as the *real* benefits of having your own company – ignoring all that financial and legal stuff.
Psst: A company is defined as a separate legal existence, distinct from its owners, managers, operators, etc. It also has its own income tax liability, separate to your personal income tax. To learn more about tax, commercial and legal side of things check out When should you move from sole trader to a company, or this simple overview of business structures.
Now Iโm head of a global corporation I obviously need an office space that befits my station. The much sought-after corner office is finally mine!
Soโฆ I shunted my existing desk into the corner of my shed #TOONCAVE which meant I I had to clean under my desk and rearrange the office. An entire day lost! So far my new company status hasnโt been great for productivity.
As a Director I need to travel to my high-powered meetings in style. Itโs company car time people. However, while debating between a BMW and a Merc I remembered I canโt drive, nor can my husband.
So… I decided to give my old bike a makeover featuring a smart new basket for important documents and a high-powered, extremely corporate bell.
Of course, now I get my own parking space. (And if any of you park in it Iโll have no qualms about clamping you.)
Again… no car means no space. But I did move my bike to the front of the shed.
I splashed out on a new Opal card. Booyah!
As a Director I canโt possibly answer my own phones, make my own coffee or wipe my own bum. I need a PA stat!
After a relentless recruitment campaign, Iโve decided to stick with my current awesome virtual assistant, Leanne. I figure my husband can answer the door whenever a parcel (a.k.a. late night online shopping disaster) needs to be signed for.
I donโt really understand what an expense account is. Isnโt it all just my money? But I approved my own investment in a new KikkiK wall planner and a pack of Blu Tack anyway.
All good directors play golf and wear those spanky little shoes.
โSorry, John. Canโt chat Wednesday. Iโm playing a round with Clive. Weโll be putting balls in holes and talking BUSINESS.โ (Thatโs what they say, right?)
Sadly, I loathe golf. But Iโve decided to take my small human for a round of mini golf next week. Iโll call him Clive for the day.
As a Director I must look the part. But given I spend most of my time working in my undies or a muumuu*, this is going to be tough.
So instead Iโve decided to invent a range of Business Muumuus (โBuuBuusโ**) thatย incorporate a shirt and tie element.
This way I can look smart on Skype but still feel the breeze on my corporate knees.
No longer do I have to share biscuits with the other office plebs. As a Director I can have my own jewel-encrusted platinum business tin.
And no dusty shortbread of the worker bees for me. Iโll be savouring the lush Jaffa cake of corporate success.
Iโve made it, people. Iโve really made it.
Do Directors buy their own sandwiches? I think not.When Iโm not asking my PA to book a table at Chez Smuggery, Iโll be asking for a focaccia with ducks eyeballs on a bed of couscous with a lemon drizzle.
But my VA is actually in Melbourne, which means that by the time it gets here the bread might be a little dry.
So today I packed a Babybel and some rice crackers into my executive suitcase (Coles bag) and took it with me to the office (my shed).
Of course, along with all the positives there are a few negatives.
Iโll now have to discuss the trajectory of the company with my board, and to be honest my CFO*** can be a little judgemental. His sullen silence and gruff interjections make our board meetings a little painful, but itโs worth it for his business acumen.
Now that my profits will be split between my three shareholders (Me, Myself and I), Iโll only be a third as well off as I was before, right? (Maths was never my strong point.)
As I etch my name into the glass of my office door with a rusty compass, I breathe a sigh of pride as I feel my superiority complex growing.
Of course, my accountant said there would be tax benefits and the like. But Iโm more excited about ordering a thousand business cards with DIRECTOR embossed on them in gold leaf.
I may also grow a moustache.
* A muumuu or muสปumuสปu is a loose dress of Hawaiian origin that hangs from the shoulder.
** Patent pending.
*** Chief Furry Officer
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