Why playing to serve is better than playing to win

In todayโ€™s business environment itโ€™s hard to resist trying to get ahead of the competition. But playing to win doesnโ€™t do business owners any favours. Hereโ€™s why playing to serve will serve you better.

Since starting my business and meeting people at various networking events, Iโ€™ve realised that I maintain friendships and relationships better with those who seemed more interested in how we could help each other rather than how I could help them alone.

Itโ€™s not hard to see how these people are winning in business.

You see, when you befriend someone who is genuinely interested in reciprocating the relationship, itโ€™s easier to be โ€˜in syncโ€™ with this person โ€“ to genuinely give back to them and to return to them again and again โ€“ because trust is established from the outset.

โ€˜Reciprocationโ€™ is one of marketing professor Robert Cialdiniโ€™s six principles of persuasion, based on the idea that if you do someone a favour, theyโ€™ll feel obliged to reciprocate. But I think thereโ€™s more to reciprocity than a feeling of obligation. My view is that if someone is genuinely interested in serving us, we feel safe and secure, and itโ€™s this feeling that motivates us to return.

One of the relationships Iโ€™ve built is with a colleague who runs his own de-clutter business. Heโ€™s highly successful. Yes, he markets well. Yes, he has over 20 yearsโ€™ experience in property consulting and therefore knows where to put things. Yes, he has wonderful customer service techniques, engagement and follow-through. But thereโ€™s something very different about him.

Want more articles like this? Check out the business psychology section.

Heโ€™s not in business to compete, or be the best, or to win. Heโ€™s simply in business to build relationships and change peopleโ€™s lives. He sees beyond the tasks and into the results and what it will mean for people if he organises their lives, de-clutters their space (and therefore minds) and gets them a genuinely good price on their homes. He sees that he might be helping peopleโ€™s mental health, improving their familyโ€™s future, and saving them from being drowned by their โ€˜stuffโ€™.

Heโ€™s not there to win. Heโ€™s there to serve.

And by doing this, heโ€™s winning.

So, just how does he do it?

He asks himself the simple question before he sees every one of his clients, โ€œHow can I best help?โ€

The rest looks after itself.

Itโ€™s that simple.

How is your business serving the lives of others?ย